"Torque Affair" (torqueaffair)
03/11/2016 at 08:15 • Filed to: TESLA ROADSTER
13
24|
"Torque Affair" (torqueaffair)
03/11/2016 at 08:15 • Filed to: TESLA ROADSTER | 13
| 24 |
Meet George Oscar Bluth and his Tesla Roadster.
Unfortunately, a few years ago George got hit by a car, broke his back and lost control of his rear legs. Fortunately, Chris saved his life, helped him recover from this horrific accident and the two have been best buds ever since.
George made sure that I didn’t mess with his beloved Tesla Roadster too much and so he kept a watchful eye on me.
The Roadster marks the beginning of Tesla. Who knows where the company will ultimately end up–probably an army of robots that will kill us all–but at least for now, this Roadster is where it all started. This is the car that almost brought down Elon Musk and his vision since it barely made it out of the factory.
The Roadster looks much like a Lotus Elise which is to be expected, since there was quite a bit of collaboration between Tesla and Lotus. And by collaboration I mean Elon Musk holding a gun to the Lotus CEO’s head (whoever he was at the time), yelling: “
Give me a Lotus so I can put a battery in it!
”
Of course, we know that the Roadster is much more than an Elise with a battery. The Roadster has larger brakes.
I remember when the car first came out. My first reactions were: was this the new Lotus? It’s a battery operated Elise? Is this the latest incarnation of the Prius? Man, Toyota is really doing some cool stuff these days.
0-60 mph in less than 4 seconds by an electric vehicle was unbelievable at the time. The creation of an electric vehicle that was actually attractive and sporty was as shocking as Ben Carson keeping his eyes open for more than 3 seconds straight.
If the god awful GM EV1 was any indication, we knew that electric vehicles had a zero chance of survival. All of these insanely horrible battery-powered vehicles made us loathe the idea of battery-powered cars. And then the Tesla Roadster came along which was so fast and good looking.
A fully electric 2700 lb Roadster that looks cool–even now.
This specific Roadster was purchased certified pre-owned by Chris that came with a warranty. There are so few of these around that Chris looked for a while before he found one he wanted to own. These roadsters, even used, are expensive. Chris’ Tesla has been running pretty strong during his time of ownership and has had no problems even after 8 years of existence which is not bad at all for the first Tesla creation.
Much like the Lotus Elise, the Roadster is very compact and low to the ground. As a result, the primary challenge is getting in and out of the car.
You Must Have Excellent Athletic Abilities
Entering and exiting the car doesn’t just require you to be small, but also demands of you exceptional Olympic-level athletic abilities. It helps if you’re one of the three people ever to have won American Ninja Warrior, among the thousands who have competed over the years and have had to go home in tears after losing their grip on that final door knob challenge. If you can hang onto a door knob with one finger thirty feet off the ground, then you have the skills needed to own a Roadster.
Doing some form of yoga or pilates before you get into the car is a good idea, because you’ll need to warm up those cold muscles to make sure you don’t pull a muscle or two. It also helps to have a strong core which I clearly didn’t, since my struggle is evident in the video.
Although you don’t get an Olympic medal for mastering getting in and out of the Tesla Roaster–when you clearly should–you sleep better at night knowing that you’re part of 0.0001% of people that can successfully do this. You can pat yourself on the back and reward yourself with a juicy cheeseburger for completing this remarkable feat.
The Inside
Having been in a Tesla Model X recently, I guess part of me was expecting more in the way of some cool electronic wizardry. I’ve been spoilt. But, sadly, there wasn’t much.
I can understand that physically threatening the Lotus CEO could’ve only taken Elon so far. Of course, I’m joking about the threats. I’m sure Elon didn’t threaten him; he just promised a year’s worth of free SpaceX rides to Mars in exchange for some Lotus help.
The main theme of the interior is that everything is quite simple, yet functional and things, in general, are miniature-sized. The main display and information screen is tucked away at the lower left side of the steering wheel which is so small that you have to hunch down in a car where you’re already hunched down and then you have to use your slender fingers to manipulate the touchscreen.
I was surprised that I had to manually adjust the mirror. I fully expected everything in the Tesla to be automated and electronic and so manually operating the mirror felt odd. After all, in a car that was supposed to represent the future of automotive technology, shouldn’t I be pushing a button to adjust the mirror? It’s like asking me to write a paper by hand when I’m sitting in front of a laptop.
There Is Actually Some Noise
As you can imagine, the Roadster doesn’t have a huge amount of insulation, so you do hear something which I enjoyed. Unlike the extreme quietness and refinement you expect in a Model S or an X, the Roadster provides a more visceral experience. It sounds like an airplane taking off as you accelerate, which you will come across in the video.
The ride was better than I was expecting. But, these days, my view is skewed because just about any car I’m in seems to have a significantly smoother ride than what I experience with my
Flintstone-Era
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ride quality on a daily basis.
You must get rid of any notion of personal space while you’re in the car because both the driver and passenger are guaranteed to be touching each other. So make sure you don’t get into the car with anyone you despise. Also, brush your teeth beforehand because there’s no hiding bad breath in the small interior space of the Roadster.
Removing The Hardtop Is Hard
It’s not a one person job and if it’s just you doing it, you need to have a plan. Once you remove it, there’s no place to put it inside the car, so you’ll have to leave the hardtop wherever you took it off. And this is the reason, Chris built a unique homemade contraption to take the roof off and leave it hanging in his garage which he demonstrates in the video.
There is a soft top that comes with the Roadster in case you get caught in the rain, but it’s almost easier to keep the soft or the hardtop on. It’s too much work otherwise.
The beginnings of Tesla weren’t perfect, but I’m glad Elon Musk brute-forced his way through it all. I’m excited to see what the future Tesla of holds–electric planes, trains, robots, shoes–whatever it happens to be.
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!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! is about exploring my fascination with cars. I’m always on the lookout for things that interest me in the car world.
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pip bip - choose Corrour
> Torque Affair
03/11/2016 at 08:26 |
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hopefully the dog doesn’t sleep with that harness/wheel set up on.
Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
> Torque Affair
03/12/2016 at 15:50 |
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Totally off topic, but we had a receptionist at my old job that we nicknamed ‘GOB’. It didn’t stand for George Oscar Bluth, but instead ‘Grumpy Old Bat’. 27 years at the firm making everyone’s life a living hell...
Obscure Drives
> Torque Affair
03/12/2016 at 15:56 |
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Is that dog’s name GOB because he rolls around on two wheels?
Because that’s hilarious.
Hooneriphic
> Torque Affair
03/12/2016 at 16:10 |
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OldManMcKenna
> Torque Affair
03/12/2016 at 16:25 |
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Great post, just wanted to take issue with your characterization of the EV1. It was quite a bit ahead of its time. Probably the best pure EV mass produced prior to the Tesla’s arrival. Certainly not “god awful” by any measure. It’s parent company’s handling of the technology and program was, in fact, dreadful. But the car itself was brilliant at the time.
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Torque Affair
> OldManMcKenna
03/12/2016 at 16:58 |
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Yeah, good point, I based my opinion on looks because it was so ugly
My citroen won't start
> Torque Affair
03/12/2016 at 19:52 |
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I mean, the EV-1 is basically a Lotus Elise, you can’t expect too much automation and ergonomics and big screens in a Lotus Elise.
Bigrus4
> Torque Affair
03/12/2016 at 19:56 |
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What does a Roadster go for now? I’m 6'4" 240lbs, I’ll fit right?
S65
> Torque Affair
03/12/2016 at 22:28 |
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I Thought The EV1 Looked Good
x87172
> Torque Affair
03/12/2016 at 23:56 |
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The entrance/exit regiment is great. I literally lift up my legs to get over that black plastic sill; the thing is covered in shoe skids.
Somewhere I read that they were originally going to make the door sills about twice as high but Musk had to convince them to lower them. That, plus he wanted custom (non-Lotus) headlights apparently caused months to years in delays.
someassemblyrequired
> OldManMcKenna
03/13/2016 at 00:13 |
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GM promo video time!
Sam
> Torque Affair
03/13/2016 at 00:46 |
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George’s little shoes are freaking adorable. The reason he has to wear them is a shame, but he’s still super cute.
dopaz
> Torque Affair
03/13/2016 at 07:41 |
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Is there an article about George somewhere? Did his owner create / adapt those hind wheels or is that something a veterinarian can provide?
Zohaibman72
> Torque Affair
03/13/2016 at 07:51 |
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As futuristic as it was, it probably would have sold much better if it looked more like a conservative car. The 2nd Gen Prius looks much more like a regular hatchback, but still unique. I think that helped it take off.
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Torque Affair
> x87172
03/13/2016 at 08:34 |
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Twice as high? That would’ve been crazy. It’s hard enough as it is!
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Torque Affair
> Sam
03/13/2016 at 08:34 |
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Yeah, he’s pretty cool!
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Torque Affair
> dopaz
03/13/2016 at 08:36 |
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That’s a good question. I’m not sure actually!
TommyKar
> Torque Affair
03/13/2016 at 10:21 |
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I love how Elon Musk gets founder credit after he mucled his way into the company after his big PayPal score from eBay. Let’s keep the records straight, Martin Eberhard and Marc Tarpenning were the ones who founded Tesla. Martin wasn’t the best CEO material I’ll give you that, however let’s give credit where credit is due.
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OldManMcKenna
> Torque Affair
03/13/2016 at 10:28 |
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Fair enough. Looked like an Aurora that had a stroke.
tobythesandwich
> OldManMcKenna
03/13/2016 at 12:42 |
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I was wondering when we’d see an EV1 apologist here.
It was an interesting idea that ended up being too inefficient and too damn expensive and was killed off like was always the plan. It really wasn’t that impressive. I take it you’ve never been in one, let alone driven one?
JasonStern911
> Torque Affair
03/13/2016 at 21:47 |
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If the god awful GM EV1 was any indication
Rationale for the GM EV1, which had a high customer satisfaction rate, not only being awful, but awful enough that it apparently is worthy of comparison to the creator and ruler of the universe and source of all moral authority?
Z4M
> Torque Affair
03/14/2016 at 03:44 |
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These cars take the r out of Gary.
TooLate
> Torque Affair
03/14/2016 at 05:05 |
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Sports cars, like sportbikes, are made for short people (like me). So get over it and just buy yourselves some stupid dually “rollin’ coal” (what’s stupider? That, spinners, or whistling exhausts (that might have just been an Oakland thing)?). Leave the sports cars to the people who fit. Lewis Hamilton, Felipe Massa, and me (yeah, that’s right, I put myself in the same sentence as them, so what?).
Seriously, though, I wrote down my password to my *real* ID but was having physical difficulties at the time and it’s not fully legible (no, substance abuse was not the issue). Is there truly no way to recover my password? (My browser profile disappeared with my auto-sign in.)
SilverBRADo totaled his beigeslushboxmatrix
> x87172
03/22/2016 at 15:30 |
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I think I’m too fat to get in and out. I would fit in the seat ok (I think), but I don’t think I can bend that way and get up or down at the same time.